


Two Birds Stoned At Once

by park3rborn



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Healthy Communication, High Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Nipple Piercings, Oral Sex, Pet Names, Smoking, Smut, Unprotected Sex, stoner au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:14:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24173416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/park3rborn/pseuds/park3rborn
Summary: Hawke's mother, Leandra, died a month ago at the hands of a blood mage. She has up until this point sought isolation for comfort but decides to pay Varric a tearful visit on the fly. He offers the following: a joint, cuddling, sex, and another joint as a temporary solution to her woes.
Relationships: Female Hawke/Varric Tethras
Kudos: 20





	Two Birds Stoned At Once

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically my first actual porn, please enjoy. Also, I'm not sorry for the stoner content.

Before the death of Leandra, Hawke and Varric's relationship had been fun. Nice even. They would get drunk or stoned together at least once a week, hook up, have some laughs, see each other during the week, and then do it again. It wasn't that either of them didn't want a relationship with the other, it just seemed simpler to call it a friends-with-benefits situation rather than bring any emotional depth to it. 

All it took was a knock on his door and opening it to discover his best friend in tears. 

Hawke's mother had been murdered just a month ago and it was hitting her hard. She was avoiding all of her friends, ignoring mail and calls, instead locking herself in her mansion smoking a lot of weed and taking no visitors. This was frankly the first Varric had seen of her since the night they found Leandra.

"Want to come in and smoke?" he had asked stupidly.

Hawke nodded and he had ushered her inside.

His room wasn't the most fancy, given that it was in one of the shittiest taverns in town, but it had a window, bookshelves, and a private bathroom, which was really all a writer slash stoner could ask for.

Varric hummed to himself as he rolled the joint on the long wooden table taking residence in his living room, carefully layering kief and flower in the triple-layer style he was so fond of. As he raised the paper to his mouth to wet the gum, Hawke bit her lip distractedly. He always had an air of elegance to him while rolling, something that Hawke had long given up trying to learn. It was bongs and bowls for her. That didn't stop Varric from trying to teach her; she remembered his hands gently on hers trying to get Hawke to not fold the papers and instead roll them. It may have been a more successful lesson had she not been overwhelmed by the warmth and fondness of Varric's hands on hers.

"See something you like?" Varric asked, looking up from his work.

Hawke laughed, the first time she had truly laughed since her mother had died. It sounded rusty and unexpected. "You amaze me," she admitted.

"I could try to teach you again," Varric said, offering her the pack of rolling papers with his free hand, inspecting his joint with the other.

"I think I'm all right, I'd rather just smoke to be honest."

"Fair enough. Would you like to do the honors?"

"Varric, no, you rolled so you should be the one to start it."

"Sorry princess, I insist." _My mom didn't just die_ , was the end of that sentence. Hawke knew she wasn't going to win this battle so she pulled a lighter from her back pocket and took the joint from Varric's outstretched hand. Their fingers brushed and Hawke tried to ignore the heat rushing to her cheeks. They moved to his bathroom as was tradition. A little hotboxing never hurt anybody, and Varric swore it kept Corff off his back about smoking inside. Hawke took her usual spot on the bathtub ledge while Varric pulled in a rolling chair. They closed the bathroom door and shoved a towel against the crack between the end of the door and the floor.

"Thanks." She lit up and pulled, French exhaling the smoke out of her mouth and back into her nose.

They passed the joint a few times in relative silence, only interrupted by peals of laughter coming from the bar.

"Do you want to talk?" Varric asked as Hawke took another hit. She frowned.

"About what?" She really did not want to talk about this. She passed him the joint.

"I'm just saying, everyone's been kind of worried about you since you fell off the face of the earth after, you know."

"Well, Varric, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Throw a party?" Internally, she cringed at her tone. Here she was, taking Varric's weed and acting like a bitch for him having concern about her. 

Varric exhaled, and handed her the joint again. "Let me rephrase that: I am worried about you. You haven't talked to me for a month and suddenly you show up to my doorstep in tears? I know it's hard, believe me, but you don't have to handle this on your own."

"I'm not handling this on my own," she retorted, "I am handling it with my good friend Tito and Mary Jane."

"And how is that going for you?" He asked, genuine. She wished he would give her attitude back. It's the least she deserved. 

"Shittily." She took the joint back from Varric. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Like what?"

"Like... I don't know, how luxurious your chest hair has been looking recently?"

"Really? You noticed? I've been using a new conditioner." He thoughtfully fingered the O ring around his neck. He would let her off the hook this time, it did nobody any good to relive trauma. The fact that she admitted she wasn't doing well was good enough for him.

"I've missed you," Varric said finally.

"Me or the sex?"

"Can I not miss both?"

“I guess I could say the same.”

"Do you want to share smoke like we did the other month?" Varric offered. The other month while very crossfaded, the two had decided to double the powers of a joint by kissing smoke into each others' mouths. It had been surprisingly effective. She nodded.

Varric kissed her, exhaling smoke while she breathed in. He smiled against her lips as they pulled away, letting Hawke exhale the rest of the smoke. 

“Fuck,” Hawke said. “I’m going to be so high.”

“That’s the goal, sweetheart.”

After a few more hits, Varric declared the joint dead.

"Have I ever told you how hot your French inhale is?" For all his rolling talent, Varric didn't have many smoke tricks in his book.

"Not recently," she admitted, a smirk quirking up her lips as she did it again on the last of the joint. "I could teach you, if you'd like."

Varric laughed, eyeballing the very burnt remains of the joint. "Maybe next time."

They exited the bathroom, quickly shutting the door to keep any excess weed smell contained. Varric busied himself by grabbing the cups of water he had gotten before they started smoking.

"Varric, I... owe you an apology."

"For what?"

"I've missed you," Hawke admitted. "It's just been a shitty month. I'm sorry I didn't write, or call, I've just been a little overwhelmed. Sorry for giving you attitude earlier."

"It's all right," Varric said, pulling her into a hug. He rested his head against her chest. "You don't owe me an explanation, I'm just glad you're safe."

Hawke sniffled above him and kissed the top of his head. "Thank you for being patient with me, I don't know what I did to deserve you. Thank you for smoking me out."

"Don't worry about it," he pulled away from her smiling.

"Can we cuddle? I’m honestly very stoned and I want to be the little spoon." 

"Of course, sweetheart."

Hawke climbed into the unmade bed and Varric followed suit, wrapping his arm around Hawkes' middle.

"How's this?"

She shimmied closer with a grateful sigh. Varric breathed in the coconut scent in Hawke's short hair from her conditioner and couldn't help but plant a gentle kiss on her back. He ran a hand back and forth along her side, letting her relax into him.

“Fuck,” Hawke mumbled appreciatively. She guided his hand up from her waist to her lips, kissing gently on his knuckles.

This was a familiar dance to Varric. Half of their hookups had been in the following order: smoke, cuddle, fuck, probably smoke again. It was relatively straightforward and agreed upon by both parties.

"Are you up for a bit of fun? It might help you take your mind off things," Varric offered.

"Master Tethras, I don't know what you could possibly be implying," she said coyly, subtly grinding up against his hips.

"We don't have to have sex if you don't want to, Hawke," Varric said plainly. 

“Oh no, I definitely want to have sex. I just was giving you shit.”

Hawke flipped around and kissed Varric. It was gentle, fueled by yearning. Varric raised a calloused hand to stroke Hawke's face, tracing the scar along her cheekbone with his thumb. 

"Beautiful," he murmured as he pulled away.

Hawke smiled softly, giving him a peck on the cheek. His stubble was scratchy under her lips. Varric caught her chin and kissed her again. This time there was no gentleness, only tongue and teeth nipping at lower lips. Hawke groaned appreciatively as Varric carded a hand through her hair, giving a light pull. She broke away and kissed at his throat, leaving red marks that had a 50/50 chance of turning into full on hickies. Varric was more than happy to be subjected to this, sucking in a breath as she moved to the shell of his ear, nibbling along the curve.

"Fuck, Hawke."

She grinned wickedly, chastely kissing where his jaw met his earlobe. It felt good to do this dance again. 

"Touch me, please?" she asked. It wasn't really a question. 

"Say no more." He reached for the hem of her shirt, letting Hawke undo the clasps on her bra herself. He licked his lips, enraptured by the softness of her breasts, pink nipples already half hard due to the chilliness of the room. "Lay on your back for me sweetheart." She obliged, arranging some of the overstuffed pillows against her upper back. Varric situated himself on his knees in between her thighs, running his hands along her sides, gripping at her hips. She shivered.

"Cold?"

"Excited."

It was Varric's turn to grin, and he leaned to play with her tits. He took one nipple into his mouth and teasingly thumbed the other. Varric laved her nipple with strokes of his hot tongue. He sucked hard, running his tongue along the bud at the same time and Hawke let out a soft sigh, biting her lip. Rather pleased with himself, he pulled at her free nipple, twisting slightly. Varric smirked when he heard a gasp above him and found a hand gripping his hair. 

"Keep sucking," Hawke breathed. 

"As you wish." He toyed with both nipples for a bit, switching over to her second nipple so as not to overabuse one, and Hawke's hips subtly canted up at the stimulation. Varric quickly caught on and dragged his fingers along her exposed crotch, feeling the increasing warmth of her cunt against his skin while he continued to suck. She whined at the loss of contact as he removed his hands and mouth to make out with her again, but was quickly compensated with a firm thigh to rub against.

"What was that?" he teased, kissing her cheek before licking a stripe down her neck.

"Fuck you," she said without any bite.

"Fuck you?" he repeated, sucking a hickey on the cooling skin while reaching down to tease at her nipple again. She hissed and ground against his thigh.

"You're wearing too many clothes," she complained, pointedly pulling at the opening of his shirt. "Take this off."

Varric quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Please. I want to play with your nipples."

"Well, since you asked so nicely." He feigned shyness as he unbuttoned the rest of his shirt. Hawke was having none of it and practically ripped the rest off of him. She flipped him onto his back and attacked his pierced nipples, careful not to pull too hard. With her free hand, she palmed the front of his trousers, rewarding her with a groan. It was only fair, Hawke thought.

"Take off your pants," said Hawke.

"You first."

They both stripped off the remains of their clothes, pants thrown carelessly off to the side. Hawke licked her lips as Varric freed his cock from his underwear, the tip red and leaking. It was more thick than long but Hawke had yet to find someone who could fuck her full like Varric could. 

She motioned for him to sit at the end of the bed, which he did as she got on her knees on the plush carpet. It was a new addition since they began hooking up. 

"Have I mentioned you're the most handsome dwarf in Kirkwall?" Hawke asked, letting spit dribble onto the head of his cock.

"You may have said it once or twice," Varric said, leaning back to get a better view.

She licked a long stripe along the length, hearing Varric fist the sheets in anticipation. She placed gentle kisses on the inside of his thighs, nipping the flesh and making color bloom under her mouth before returning to the task at hand. She took him into her mouth, careful of her teeth, and sucked the head, running her tongue across his slit. She spit on her palm and gave his shaft an experimental jerk before returning to sucking him off while rotating her wrist. 

"Fuck." Varric gripped the back of Hawke's head, not pushing but holding on as if for balance. 

Hawke hummed in amusement and Varric unintentionally bucked his hips up into her mouth, earning a surprised sound from Hawke. 

"Sorry sweetheart," he apologized.

She pulled off. "Just took me by surprise. Do you want to fuck my mouth?"

Varric nodded and Hawke made sure to open wide enough to allow more of his length into her mouth. She hollowed her cheeks as he found his rhythm, careful not to choke her.

"Hawke," Varric moaned. "Fuck, you are so good at this. So good for me."

After a few minutes, Hawke's jaw began to ache so she gave him a double tap against his thigh to signal for him to pull out of her mouth. He obliged, as he always did, and drew her up for a kiss. He could taste himself on her lips, which made it all the more erotic as their tongues battled for dominance between them. Hawke let out a little sigh through her nose and her hands found the hairtie Varric used to keep his hair out of his face. She made quick work of taking it out, and twisting her fingers through his hair fondly.

"Let me return the favor," Varric said after pulling away. Hawke nodded and moved onto the bed. Varric grabbed her legs and pulled her so her ass was almost hanging off of the edge of the bed and took her place on the carpet. She hooked her calves around his shoulders. Varric offered his fingers to her and she quickly took each finger in her mouth and sucked lustfully.

"Sweetheart, you are sinful."

Varric ran a finger along her folds, humming appreciatively at how wet she had gotten for him. He dipped the tip of his thick finger into her entrance, teasing her while circling her clit with another finger. He sucked hickeys onto her inner thighs before soothing the marks with light kisses.

"Varric," she warned, flexing her feet against his back. "Finger fuck me before I decide to crush your head."

"So impatient," he tutted. Before she could take a breath to threaten him again, he slid his index and middle fingers into her heat, curling up. She bit her lip as he grazed the spongy cluster of nerves. 

"Fuck, Varric."

She was tight and hot around his fingers. "How's this?"

"Good, please keep going."

"Of course baby." He pumped his fingers in and out of her wet heat, making sure to keep hitting her g-spot as he almost withdrew his fingers before driving back in. Her hips rolled with him and her breathing hitched. "You're loose enough I think we can go for another finger."

"Please!" Hawke said tightly. "Talk to me while you choke me?"

He smiled; Hawke really had a thing for dirty talk and he loved giving it to her. Perfect combination. "I love seeing you laid out like this." He reached up and wrapped his hand around her throat, making her sigh with pleasure. "You're so strong, so beautiful. You're like a deadly, beautiful machine. Kind of like Bianca," she groaned and he shushed her. "Under my control. You're so responsive to my touch." He squeezed a little tighter and felt her clench around him. "I love feeling you tighten around my fingers, especially when I do-- this." He drove deep into her and rubbed her clit with a calloused pad of his thumb. "Do you want my mouth on you sweetheart?"

"Please eat me out while you fuck me on your fingers," she begged, bucking up for more stimulation.

"Absolutely, beautiful." He gave her a chaste kiss before diving into her sex, running a stripe up to her clit and sucking. His stubble scratched against her labia. He worked his tongue while he sucked and stroked his fingers inside of her as she whispered his praises. 

"Varric, I'm going to--" she hissed as he withdrew his fingers from her only to cruelly hook back into her.

"Cum for me sweetheart, you're so beautiful when you cum," he encouraged, careful to keep his rhythm steady as her orgasm built. He hummed against her clit as she grabbed his head and tightening her legs around him, cumming with a cry.

"Varric!" 

"Maker, you are exquisite," Varric said, licking cum off of his lips.

"Come here," Hawke pulled him up onto the bed and into her arms, kissing him passionately. "Do you want to fuck me?"

"Yes."

Hawke made a "come hither" motion with her finger, making Varric laugh and kiss her again before shooing her higher up the bed to flip over onto her hands and knees. She waggled her hips at him, arching her back and showcasing the beautiful roundness of her ass.

"Fuck," he said appreciatively smacking a creamy cheek, warranting a soft sigh from Hawke. The mark from his hand quickly surfaced and dispersed, leaving a rosy flush behind. He gripped her hips and lined up, slicking himself against her wetness. He spread her open and drove his hips forward into her, making her gasp with the sudden stretch. He kissed the line of her spine and let her readjust, rubbing her ass soothingly.

"Move," she said.

"As you wish." He began a slow rhythm inside of her, closing his eyes in pleasure as her walls squeezed him, drawing him closer. She began backing into him, meeting his hips as they fucked in tandem.

"Pull my hair please."

He reached out and grabbed a fistful of dark hair and pulled her head back and off of the bed. She whined as he continued to fuck her. "Maker you are so hot," Varric praised, "You're so wet for me, do you want me to cum inside of you?"

"Yes please," she moaned as he fingered her sensitive clit.

He kissed her spine again and released her head, focusing instead on gripping her hips, chasing his orgasm.

"Fuck, Hawke, I'm going to cum!"

"Cum inside of me, Varric. I love feeling your thick cock inside of me, it feels so good," Hawke cried, tightening around him and meeting his hips. 

Hawke felt hot cum spurt inside of her, her eyes rolling back at the sensation. “Fuck!” She felt some dribble out as he pulled out of her, which he quickly lapped up.

“Maker, Hawke, you are going to be the death of me.”

After grabbing a wet towel and cleaning off, they returned to cuddling on the bed, arms and legs entangled with each other

"Fuck, that was good."

Varric kissed her forehead softly. "I told you I missed you."

"Should I disappear more often?”

"No."

“No,” Hawke agreed.

A moment of silence.

“Do you want to smoke another joint?”

“Maker, yes.” Hawke laughed.


End file.
